In the Comfort of Strangers

Posted byKathy SimmonsPosted inCollege, friendshipTags:, , , ,
Forever room mates

In the fall of 2020, my son Owen left our small Connecticut town to embark on a journey; his first year attending Trinity College Dublin, in the land of his grandmother’s birth. Though Covid had the world firmly in its grip, Owen held high hopes. We all did. And arriving the next morning at 5AM, Irish time, he lay down his bags, eagerly awaiting the arrival of five flat mates; four from Ireland and one a country unknown.  

But when Owen called home that evening, his voice was downcast, “No one came mom.” And so it was. Those four Irish flatmates never did materialize, choosing instead to study remotely from home, with the continued bonus of their mam’s home cooking. Owen’s meals, supplied by the college, arrived by phantom delivery, vacuum packed and sterile.  The students that did come, were confined to their flats, the only allowance being a short jaunt around the courtyard for exercise. Classes for the foreseeable future, remote. A country in lockdown. A college dream on hold.

Then a text from Owen the next morning, a glimmer of hope in his words, “My first and only flat mate just arrived from India mom. His name is Nikhil, he is 6”6, and a gentle giant.”

And with those words, a friendship was born.

They have remained together as flatmates over the past three years and are currently experiencing a far different world; in person lectures, participating in sporting events and clubs, attending the Trinity Ball or simply enjoying a pint of Guinness together in a Dublin pub. They have traveled to neighboring European cities to learn of different cultures and have visited both the near and the far corners of the magnificent Irish countryside.

Life, is good again.

Nikhil is a constant fixture in not just the flat they share, but in Owen’s room as well and often joins in on our FaceTime calls. He has been encouraging Owen to take up soccer once again, and to join him for daily swims in the Irish Sea, a brave undertaking due to the frigid water. Owen has been teaching Nikhil American slang and laughed as Nikhil, a quick learner, enthusiastically described the “sick” party they attended the other night.

Their admiration for each other is evident. Owen describes Nikhil as the nicest person he has ever met. And Nikhil, an only child, once told me, “Owen is my best friend Mrs. Simmons, and will be the best man in my wedding someday.” When I remind Owen to be wary late at night returning home to campus, he responds, “oh, no one would ever dare bother us when Nikhil is around. Everyone is afraid of him given his size. If they only knew how nice he is.”

They are friends as the saying goes, in good times and in bad. One evening Owen called to advise he thought he had a fever but had forgotten to pack a thermometer. “Can you ask Nikhil if he has one?” I suggested, worried it might be covid. I heard the sounds of my son’s furious texting and then, not, 30 seconds later, a frantic rap, rap, rap on the door – Nikhil to the rescue, thermometer in hand.

Owen and Nikhil moved into their new flat yesterday, on that spectacular Trinity campus, steeped in history. They will begin their final year of learning amid the splendor of Dublin City, alive once again with music and song. They are both keenly aware it may be the last time they room together in their lifetime.

A friendship, stronger than any pandemic.

Published by Kathy Simmons

I am an ex New Yorker who still misses the vibrancy of the city. I seek out the humor in every day life and relay it through my stories in the hope others will appreciate as well. I love to write about growing up with my fantastically unique Irish mother whose memory inspires me every day. Although she is no longer with us, her antics are an endless staple for my tales. I currently live in Connecticut with my husband, two sons and toy fox terrier Anabel.

25 thoughts on “In the Comfort of Strangers”

  1. Seems such a simple tale, this story. It is, and it isn’t. It contains something more, something about the way life could and should be – not exception, but common instead. There’s how this story resonates, moves so close. Thank you for saying, or we wouldn’t have known this measure, how life can be. I am glad for your son and his friend, and back to the root, for you.

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  2. We meet some incredible people on this journey. And a few of them are a very rare prize, those one’s that share us, dare us, and care for us. I’ve even had one that that broke me in many places. But even I have to admit, it was the last that made me. But those many before play a great part. A lovely post kind lady, may we all have at least one of those souls to share a big, beautiful journey 😀❤️🙏

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    1. A heartfelt and poignant comment Mark. Several of the stories appearing on my blog involve those that have touched and played a positive role in my life. My Irish born mother is featured in several. A woman of courage, humor and kindness; always in my heart, and words. I very much appreciate your reading.

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      1. And I appreciate yours kind lady. Those shares with others go much further than we realize sometimes, and even deeper if we dare. Thank you for sharing the beginnings of a new journey for your son, with the wisdom of one well trod 😀❤️🙏

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  4. For some reason your blog posts are coming to my comments pages and I don’t know how to stop them.
    I looked to see if I am following you, so I could unfollow you, but it looks like I’m not a member.
    I like your blog, but not in my comments. Can you stop your posts from coming to my comments page? MythRider

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      2. Of course! Totally understand. I went to your home page to see if I could see but did not know which post the comments with my blog appear on. So strange! Maybe take screen shot to show how it is appearing? I just emailed support

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    2. Here is response I received from support:

      If your blog posts are appearing in another user’s comments, it’s possible that they have enabled the option to receive email notifications for follow-up comments on your posts. To stop your posts from appearing in their comments, you can ask them to follow these steps:

      Open one of the notification emails they received for your blog posts.
      Scroll to the bottom of the email and click on the “Subscription Options” link.
      This will take them to a page where they can manage the posts/comment threads they follow.
      They can then unfollow your posts by clicking on the “Unfollow comments” link.
      If they are still experiencing issues or need further assistance, they can reach out to the WordPress.com

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  6. great there was such a positive outcome from what could have been a very alienating college experience with all that disruption caused by the pandemic

    -✧✦☆❖◈❋✤☆✦-∞-♡-∞-✦☆✤❋◈❖☆✦✧-

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  7. A wonderful happy ending. My middle son attended Trinity for his Junior year of college long before Covid. He has been back twice to visit his friends for life, taking his wife last time.

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  8. What a great story of friendship, one that was formed during difficult times.

    And your son’s college experience sounds fantastic – so much more exciting than going to college in the U.S.! Everything sounded “sick”, except for those swims in the Irish Sea.

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    1. He has memories of a lifetime from his days at Trinity College, both in good times and bad. Also had the opportunity to visit so many beautiful European cities and his travel highlight? Attending his other Indian friend, Santhosh’s sister’s wedding in India. He had to practice a dance he learned for weeks before the wedding to perform. He sent me the video, fantastic! And those plunges in the Irish Sea?….they are known for righting any wrongs emotionally and an instant re-set, likely due to the shock. Thanks for reading Jim!

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      1. We recently attended an Indian wedding – and wow – what an event. I remember there beig several dances performed by various groups of family members and friends. Sounds like the one your son went to was fun. And is the plan for Owen to still be Nikhil’s best man? 🙂

        I was on the swim team in college, and it was hard enough jumping in the pool every morning at 6:00. That was cold enough for me – the Irish Sea is a whole other level of cold 🙂

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      2. Congrats on swim team Jim, a huge commitment and a great experience for most. My older son Liam was a springboard diver at a school called Denison University in Granville, OH. Their team rivals many D1’s and they have won the NCAA nationals many times (last 2 years as well). Liam got shut out of the diving nationals his freshman year due to covid (made finals but competition cancelled). But he was lucky enough to come in 3rd his senior year in the 3M NCAA competition. Something I am sure he will always remember along with a big gold ring that looks like a rapper’s bling hahaa, think they give when you win nationals. Owen partook in the sport as well and dove through high school but didn’t have commitment or love of sport like his brother. Still an amazing experience. And Owen, unlike his older brother was fearless. Will never forget him at Yale pool doing a two and a half for the first time and coming out of water with a bright red back. Liam was more cautious and took months to try new dives but Owen, no fear. I miss those diving competitions and Liam is still in touch with his five, college swim buddies who he roomed with and was groomsman at one’s wedding last year. Although both boys were divers, coach would always put them in swim competitions in high school when they were in need. Liam had great butterfly stroke and someone told me once that divers are great butterfly swimmers. Go figure? Where did you swim? And are you in Australia now?

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      3. What an accomplishment for Liam. I know Denison well, my neighbor went there back in the late seventies. One of his daughers went there as well, graduated in 2012 I believe.
        I swam butterfly and freestyle at a small college in PA – East Stroudsburg. The best man in my wedding was a diver on our team, and a couple of the groomsmen were swimmers on the team. I still stay in touch with about half my college teammates. In fact I’ll be seeing a few of them in a couple of weeks at my best man’s 70th birthday party!
        I am not in Australia this semester; hopefully I will get one last opportunity to teach there next Spring semester, right before I retire that summer!.

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